Posts Tagged 'emotions'

Another Sunny Day

Doodle

but not really. Sunny? Today? No way. I’m so sorry, of course I should be giving you a small ray of sunshine here, or at least a glimmer of interest. But at the moment I can’t.

    Maybe right now, to me, the only way to stay on top of it all is being cynical. So yes, to give you an idea, here is my sunny day:

Another Sunny Day

One of the first lessons when it comes to coping with depression is this: don’t keep trying to do what you already know that you can’t. Because a repeated, continuous sense of failing will only make your depression worse. Much worse.

    In fact, right now, I guess I should not even try to write anything here. Instead it might be safer to step out into the mud of the garden and find myself something different, something small to do.

    You probably already know another prime lesson about handling depression. This one: if you realize you’re incapable of doing what you actually should do, then don’t keep fretting about it. Instead, try to do something else, anything, however insignificant. Just get up and try something you might still be able to do.

Like, make yourself a cup of tea.A Cup of Tea

Cynical again? Maybe. But yet another important lesson (and then I’ll stop) is this: if we want to survive our depressions, then we have to come to terms with what we have, what we can, what we are now.

    You may be seriously damaged by depression, true. But in combination with your desire for perfection and happiness, that damage should be no reason to give up on yourself. Maybe it’s not yet time to dump yourself in the bin. If it turns out you cannot handle a full cup of tea anymore, then try a half one.

Explicable Sadness

A broken cup can make us sad. Feeling broken yourself even more.

    Generally I think it’s a huge mistake to confuse depression with sadness. This is a mistake that is often made by well-meaning comforting outsiders who know nothing about depression. Sure, sadness may at times be a component of depression, but at other times we can be so depressed that we don’t feel anything anymore, just numbness. In such situations, depression has little to do with sadness.

    So depression as a mental illness is a much more complex phenomenon than sadness, which essentially is just a basic emotion.

    Still there are times when depression can make us more sensitive, more susceptible to emotions like sadness, and thus can overwhelm you with sadness even when you didn’t expect it. In such a case, sadness and depression can form a dangerous mix that leaves you rather helpless. I’ve written about that before (see for example Inexplicable Sadness).

    I won’t go into my personal sadness now, because I think that doesn’t belong in this blog. I will say only that for myself, this not-so-sunny day turned out a typical example of a depression-and-sadness mix, and that my own sadness today is explicable. It has to do not with a broken teacup, but with a broken relationship. Once essential love that since years is damaged in an irreparable way.

    This particular kind of sadness can easily turn into a poisonous cocktail of bitterness, loss and nostalgia, and therefore it would be unwise for me to pour it out here. So I will get up now, stop writing this impossible post, and try to do something else.

Another Sunny Day

The only other thing I will do, emotion-wise, is leaving you with some fine musicians. By definition, a good song can shape and represent such sadness much better than anything else. And I guess that’s why there are at least a million songs about broken love.

    Please listen to the excellent Glasgow band Belle & Sebastian. When it comes to mixing emotions, they are amazing. For more about them, please do take a look at their official Belle & Sebastian website.

    Here they are with the song Another Sunny Day from their 2006 album The Life Pursuit. What to me makes it especially powerful, but you might also say a little wry, is how they manage to mix a happy, upbeat melody with rather sad lyrics. After all, this is how it ends:

the lovin’ is a mess, what happened to all of the feeling?
I thought it was for real, babies, rings and fools kneeling
and words of pledging trust and lifetimes stretching forever –
so what went wrong? it was a lie, it crumbled apart
ghost figures of past, present, future haunting the heart

Belle & Sebastian


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Valentine Horror AGAIN?

Doodle

Spoiler alert! Because we, the strange outlandish tribe of Depressed People, always tend to spoil the fun. Especially with these nice cozy civilized occasions like Valentine’s Day.

    It’s coming again: this weird February circus of heart-shaped sweets, handwritten cards, red roses, pillow-soft kisses, whatever. Everything that you, the Normal People, seem to enjoy and believe in.

    We, the horrible, lonely, ragged, mentally disturbed Depressed Ones, we can’t even understand it. And the little that we do grasp, does seem to exclude us. Wo don’t fit in the picture. We feel our heart sink only further away into its already bottomless tar pit when a day like this appears on the horizon. And according to you, we are just being negative.

    But let me tell you – somehow, we cannot help it. In our twisted, tortured, abnormal, spiteful mind this whole hypocritical circus evokes no glittering dream fantasies of pink satin bed covers sprinkled with rose petals. Rather, it brings up something stony and cold. Something like this:

Eternal Love

Now don’t worry, I won’t be too much of a spoiler. Nor will I repeat my last year’s Valentine’s Way post or the anti-Valentine song that came with it.

    And you, my target audience, my dear depressed ones, you probably don’t need any more tips about how to cope with kitschy horror like this. I gave you some tips a few years ago with Christmas, remember?

    Anyway, you may be depressed but you’re still breathing, so I guess you’re probably already a long-standing member of a Valentine’s Day Survivors Support Group. Well, just try to carry on!

My Gift To You

As my Valentine gift to you all, here is the one and only Crooning Mafioso: no one but the frightful Frank Sinatra himself, singing his sugary Funny Valentine song. Complete with its typical, veiled Omerta death threat in the ominous final lines: “Stay little Valentine stay, each day is Valentines day”.

Each day? No! No! Please, please Godfather, I beg you on my knees, don’t do that to us! We’ll do whatever you want, but please, don’t do that to us!

    And another spoiler alert: if you happen to be an actual Sinatra fan (assuming you exist) then better skip this song. You see, to make The Voice even more devilish than it already was, I did a little bit of sound editing.

Frank Sinatra


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 tip: In the very hardest, darkest moments of the cruel tribulations that await us, remind yourself of this: all leading disaster experts predict that on February 15th, some kind of global recovery effort may set in.


Chiming – An App That Works

Doodle

Chimes. What chimes?

    Well, I found out that if you are seriously depressed, chimes can make a real difference. I mean chimes as a phone app.

    I’ve posted here about anti-depression phone apps a few times before; my personal opinion is that most of them are of limited value at best, and many are totally worthless.

Anti-depression Apps

Dedicated anti-depression phone apps fall into two broad categories.

app-speaking    In the first place there are the many Inspirational apps, that try hard to convince you there’s still a glimmer of hope in the dark: for example by presenting religious or generally uplifting quotes (sometimes they combine this with what they think might be soothing background music). I myself really wouldn’t give a cent for all these Inspirational ones: at best they’re naive and paternalistic; at worst they will make you feel even more out-of-touch, misunderstood and depressed.

    As the second category we have various more specific Suicide-Prevention apps, that usually will offer a few practical suggestions and that especially try to make it easier to quickly call for adequate help in an emergency. These Suicide-Prevention apps can sometimes be more effective, but (in the case of a serious depression) in a limited way. For a nice example of such an app, see see here.

    Apart from these two categories here are of course other phone apps that can be somewhat helpful in individual cases of depression. For example:
  (1) the what-I-call meditative apps, that offer actual breathing or concentration exercises that may help if your depression is not too severe;
  (2) purely informational apps where you can look up symptoms or run a superficial self-test;
  (3) in a much broader sense, the reminder apps that may help to prevent you in your depression haze forgetting tasks, appointments, or your daily dose of antidepressants.

Time VortexBut the most simple aids, um, apps, are often the best. I found this out a few weeks ago, when I was not just a little ill but also very depressed – so much, that for several days I had great trouble to keep myself going or even to take a few steps outside my room.

    Such a depression can suck you into a kind of whirling time vortex, where every moment seems like every other moment, literally indifferent, the hours whirling around you without you really being aware of time anymore: you have no longer any kind of grip when it comes to keeping your day under control.

Chimes

    What in that situation was (and still sometimes is) very helpful to me, is one of the simplest phone apps you can imagine. All it does is chime a bell once an hour, just like an old-fashioned living-room clock. Ding-dong! I set it to chime every hour between 10 AM and 11 PM. So how can this be a help? After all, it’s not even a reminder for any specific task or event: it’s not quite the same as an alarm clock.

    No, but it very effectively keeps a depression-ridden day from degenerating into one gray shapeless mass, into one vague blur. For those hourly chimes provide an audible time grid that extends over the entire day, compartmentalizing and structuring it, keeping you conscious of what you are doing (or not doing), keeping you aware of the passing of time, and conscious of where you are. It ensures you don’t forget your own existence in that nasty way that depression can make you forget everything.

    On a practical level, that simple chime can do several things. Hearing it can force you to refocus for a brief moment, shake you up a little every hour again, even when depression was claiming all focus, and make you realize you should be doing something. Or that you should be doing some other thing. Or that at least you should stop fretting and doing nothing at all.

    In short, that hourly ding-dong is a very effective reminder of the fact that actual life is going on, outside your depression. It keeps pushing you back a little towards that actual life, every hour again.

Old-fashioned Clock    So if your own depressions tend to create a whirling time vortex too, I really recommend you give one of those chime apps a serious try. At the bottom of this post you’ll find a link to the one I installed on my phone.

    Of course you could also go to an antiques shop and buy yourself the real thing, a big old-fashioned mahogany ding-dong clock – if you are sure its continuous ticking won’t get on your nerves.

And for now, a little diversion:

Another Kind of Chimes

    Once upon a time, long before depression got you, you did have a Previous Life, didn’t you? Generations ago?

    Remember sitting down with your new love, sneakily touching hands under the rim of your tiny table in the vaulted universe of this half-clandestine half-dark nightclub den?

    Ah yes, this is Chicago, 1927, right? It’s real dim all around you in this exciting mystery club, and noisy, a sea of murmuring and laughing and whispering and chattering and echoing shadows, bobbing heads wherever you look, flickering lights – and of course there’s all this smokey smoking smoke: the massive billowing clouds from fat corona and rakish rothschild cigars, plus the sharper piercing puffs that shoot from painted women’s bloodred lips, plus all those aimless whirls from cigarettes held out in holders, elegantly, like beckoning fingers

    Yes it’s full of fighting romping playing mixing touching loving scorching hot smells! The tickling caramels of deeply Southern golden bootleg whiskey, the musky whiffs of Paris perfumes strong and bold enough for boyish bobbiegirls to intoxicate each other, the salty tang from under the rolled-up sleeves of rough-and-ready, dangerously calm and soft-spoken men The clinking fresh enthusiasm of homebrewn boys’ beer spilling foam, the crusty thyme-and-olive mincemeat garlic smell of

    Sure, Italian leftover oven-snacks; and is this cheese? the nutty smell of naughty blue veins in a pale naked stretch of Roquefort? Colliding with the last withering traces of fragrant aftershave from the rosy cheeks of that nervous, hesitating, handsome young man; and a strangely sudden waft of strong white peppermint, white like that rakish collar, gone again, mouthwater? Shining new black leather shoes, now there’s a smell! And this: the bitter cry from a long-deserted glass of red Bordeaux, drying out slowly My, something reminds me of gun oil gone sticky And open roses waiting for a honeybee And is this hair cream, a little bit too rich and gleaming? What about these hints of fish, yes, sizzling fish, now what would

    Wait. Chimes? Nightclub chimes? Yes my darling, it’s not time for all-out dancing yet, so the band is digging for something slow, something easy, for speakeasy whiffs to bridge the background sound gap. Do you know what you smell?

You smell Louis Armstrong’s bittersweet Chimes Blues:

1920 Cafe Collage


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Well. I know I went way over the top here, but I won’t chime sorry for it.


 the tip: If you are so depressed it often feels like you’re losing the grip on your day, try an hourly chiming app on your phone.
    Mine, on Android, is very simple, lightweight, with just enough settings to do what it should, and it’s free: Caynax Hourly Chime. But there are plenty other chiming apps with more features, like fine-tuning the sound. And of course there are similar chimers for iPhone, too. Just search for them in the store.

• the footnote: I did cheat a little with that other kind of chimes. I went for atmosphere there, not for truth.
    The picture is not really Louis Armstrong but a photo mix I pasted together myself; and the music is not Armstrong’s original 1923 Chimes Blues, but a 1962 Armstrong Chimes Blues recording that I mixed with background sounds to make it come alive.


Snowdrops

Doodle

Right now I’m recovering from a bit of illness and adversity. More important is that all around me, nature is recovering from a period of snow and frost.

    It’s raining, gray, and muddy now. But here is what I discovered yesterday in a corner of the garden:

Snowdrops

Do you know what’s typical for depression? If you encounter the very first flowers of the year, and you immediately begin thinking something like this: “Gee, almost spring again… What have I done with the last months? Time is going so fast… Soon it’ll be summer again… and then autumn… and winter again… and then another spring, just like this… another year… and then another year again…”

    I advise you not to finish such a line of thinking. It’s futile, pointless and will get you nowhere at all. Moreover, it is really unfair to those snowdrops: instead of just looking at them, you’re using them – treating them as if they’ve sprung up to tell you something, as if they are messengers. They’re not meant to be messengers. Not even heralds of spring, at least not in the first place. Primarily, they’re meant simply to be little white flowers. And what are flowers for?

Right. No need to say more.

    Now what about a typical spring voice? Maybe Russian folk singer Julia Klauzer? If you take a look at this Beatcast.tv video you can see her performing live with a band on a barren St. Petersburg rooftop, singing Ding Dong.

    But here I have Julia with something more simple, the song Spring is on the way from her 2001 a capella album The Voice Of The Spring:

Julia Klauzer


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 tip: Don’t keep waiting for springtime. Instead, tell yourself this is the very day you’ve been waiting for.


Floods

Doodle

Depression sometimes looks and feels like a flood. The river of our emotions, that normally runs reasonably within its proper bed, swells beyond control. Of course we can build dikes that are supposed to protect us from a flood disaster. If we are used to depressions, we probably already did build them.

    Antidepressant medication, a therapist, regular physical exercise, doing meaningful work or activities: these are just a few examples of standard measures that can work like dikes. They all can help to keep our depression tendencies at bay, to protect us from being washed away by an uncontrolled sea of negative and self-destructive feelings and impulses.

    Still, we all know that occasionally such dikes are inadequate. In bad times, a particular strong wave of depression may break through or simply run over them. We get flooded. We lose control. The entire landscape of our life begins to look and feel like one somber, gray, monotonous, dangerous, unlivable depression sea:

Flood

So let’s be realistic. Sometimes, in such a situation, there’s little we can do but sitting it out. We temporarily become dependent from others, family or friends or neighbors or health care professionals. We may need those other people to save us from accidentally drowning in the flood of our own depression. They will have to keep reminding us that even when we ourselves think our flood will never go away, in a while it will.

    And this is why, in drier times, we need to set up this kind of last-resort protection to save ourselves in advance from such a potential depression flood.

    As you see I’m in a metaphorical (and somewhat low) mood today. To continue with the metaphor, here is a queer little old building that stands in the middle of nowhere not far from my home. Would you have any idea what this is?

Dry and High

It is a mini power station, built in 1926 to provide a nearby clay mill and some farm houses with electricity. With today’s common power grid, of course it is not in use anymore. But recently, after years of neglect, this thing was restored so it would remain standing as a kind of monument to more primitive times, to antique technology.

    Back when it was built, the river dikes around here were much lower and weaker than today. As a consequence, every few years a serious flood could occur in this area.

    The builders, foreseeing such uncontrollable catastrophes would be inevitable, took their measures. Their “gate” was in fact meant solely as a high kind of base, as a last-resort protection against possible floods. That’s why they built the actual power generator shed on top of it.

High and Dry    Thanks to better dikes, really bad floods don’t happen here anymore. So in this second photo, I did a little photoshopping: just to show you how, with its high gate-like base, this thing was very intentionally designed to survive a worst-case flood scenario.

    For years on end, the high “gate” would serve no real daily purpose; in fact it was rather inconvenient – as you can see, it forced people to install a pulley for hoisting things up to the actual power shed. But for that one single critical week in years, in the rare but possible event of an uncontrollable flood, this high base would prove to be a real life saver.

    I hope you got my point: essentially, it’s the same with a very bad depression. It’s the same in those catastrophic situations when the dikes of our antidepressants, good habits, whatever, prove insufficient: when we ourselves can no longer control the flood of our emotions. When, left to ourselves, we might drown in the gray and seemingly endless tide of our depression.

    In such cases, other people around you (colleagues, friends, even just a neighbor) can function as a life-saving base. They may not be able to prevent the flood itself, but they may very well save you from its worst consequences.

    And exactly like the designers of this strange little building invested beforehand in a brick-and-mortar flood protection base, so you as a depression-prone person should invest beforehand in building a social flood protection base.

    For example, on your better days, try to make it a habit to have a chat or a drink with some neighbor on a regular basis. By doing things like this, you increase the chance that this same neighbor will keep an eye on you. This may be just one of the simple things that can help prevent a disaster, should you yourself ever happen to get completely flooded (and floored) by a severe depression.

Do you see what I mean? OK, then I’ve moralized enough for today

 

Here is the well-known Georgian-British singer Katie Melua with the song The Flood from her 2010 album The House. I want to warmly recommend her; please go the official Katie Melua website for more about her and her many great songs.

    A few months after she recorded this Flood song, Katie Melua herself was hospitalized for six weeks because of “a nervous breakdown”. So believe me, she really does know very well what she’s singing about here:

Katie Melua


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 tip: see above.

• footnote: I took the top photo of an actual flood two years ago in a nearby area that is not protected by dikes.


Mood Monitoring: Narcissus!

DoodleSo you are depressed. And you ask yourself: would it be wise, would it help me to systematically register my depression level on a daily basis? My answer would be: probably not.

    Before I explain, here is the 1599 painting Narcissus by Caravaggio. Do you know Narcissus? The famous story character from ancient Greek mythology?

    Narcissus became obsessed with himself to such an extent that when he saw his reflection in the water of a pool, he could not stop looking at it. Totally fixated on his own mirror image, he was unable to leave, and lingered on the spot until he died.

    His name lives on in the terms “narcissism” and “Narcissistic Personality Disorder” to indicate people who are focusing far too much on themselves, in an unhealthy way.

Narcissus, by Caravaggio (1599)

Narcissism is often interpreted as a kind of personal vanity, based on excessive self-love. But there is also narcissism that is equally self-centered, but based on excessive self-doubt or self-hate. Depression often comes with that kind of narcissistic attitude. Locked in the negative self-image caused by your depression, you focus too much on yourself and too little on the outside world. And this, in turn, will make you only more depressed.

    The basic problem with systematic, daily “mood monitoring” is that while giving you hardly any real benefits, it tends to worsen this narcissistic nature of depression. It can lure you into staying focused too much on your own depression level and how bad it is today again. Rather than help you cope by refocusing on something else, this will just rub it in.

    Still there are websites that actually advocate this kind of narcissistic activity as a way to handle depression. Let’s take a brief look at a prime example.

    Below is a partial screenshot of the website for the Mood 24/7 SMS-based mood monitoring tool. Not shown in the screenshot is their somewhat misleading title Get to Know Yourself – what they actually mean is just this: Get to See The Graph of Yourself That You Constructed Yourself.

Mood 24/7 (screenshot website)

Mood 24/7 is the modern online equivalent of Narcissus’ pool. What they offer you, is very simple.

    You subscribe to their SMS service and they’ll send you this phone text message at an agreed time every day: “On a scale of 1 to 10 what was your average mood today?” You start thinking about the past day, you try to remember exactly how you felt at different moments, you evaluate your overall mood levels for that day, make a final guess as well as you can, and then hit Answer to send them your score. If you like, you can add a small tweet-like comment that they will save with the score.

    With your user password you can access your personal Mood 24/7 webpage where all the daily scores you sent them are represented in a neat graphical chart (see the screenshot example). This can show you the variation in the daily scores you sent them over a longer period of time. In the chart’s peaks and dips you’ll recognize the levels and swings of your daily mood, just like they were reported by you.

    Basically this is it. Now what’s the point, apart from the fact that sending in a daily “mood score” requires you to make it a habit to somehow analyze and evaluate your own mood every day? A habit that, when you are really depressed, is perhaps not a healthy habit at all?

    Frankly I fail to understand how this would make you “to Know Yourself” as claimed by their webpage title. Did Narcissus get to know himself any better by staring, for however long, at his mirror image in the pool? Would you get to know yourself any better by staring at a graphical sequence that simply reflects the self-assessment figures that you determined beforehand yourself? Yes, it will tell you that for day or week X you evaluated your mood as better (or worse) than for day or week Y. But this you did know already – it’s just what you told them.

    Maybe you can generate some extra pseudo-statistical results along the lines of “from January to December my average monthly reported mood gradually declined from 6.4 to 5.7, interrupted by a brief temporary peak of 7.1 in July”. But apart from the question what exactly is measured here, would this really help you to get to know yourself any better? I don’t see how.

Narcissus, in the style of Leonardo da Vinci (ca. 1500)If the Mood 24/7 service serves mainly to satisfy your narcissistic self-fascination, would it then perhaps still be useful to others around you? In a PDF brochure the Mood 24/7 people suggest “your personal mood chart can be shared with doctors and loved ones, allowing everyone to see the effects of treatment in real-time”. This claim I find, to put it mildly, a little weird.

    Doctors know that the effects of treatment can vary wildly in many respects. An antidepressant treatment can have a positive effect in some respects, while at the same time having a negative effect in other respects. It can for example make you less suicidal, but at the same time also less lucid and alert. So to judge the actual mood effects of a treatment, a doctor would have to objectively assess several such concrete factors separately: this means that looking at some global, average mood score estimated by yourself simply will not do.

    As for your “loved ones” (spouse, parents, children) do they need to see your superficial mood chart to know what’s going on? They see yourself “in real-time” every day, in much richer detail than this global mood score can give them: they see what you are doing, hear how you are talking, know how you sleep, etc. Sometimes they may already know your mood even better than you do yourself: it’s a known fact that family members will often notice and recognize a beginning depression at an earlier stage than the patient herself. So again, I fail to see the point.

The Metamorphosus of Narcissus, by Salvador Dali (1937)Well, now let me try to give a somewhat more systematic overview of the main problems with this kind of daily mood monitoring.

What’s Wrong With This Mood Monitoring?

  1. This kind of mood monitoring doesn’t really measure your mood itself, only rate your superficial and incidental assessment of your mood.
    To name just one possible distorting effect: you’re not always objective yourself. A good mood may lead you to assess yourself a little too positively and bad mood may do the reverse, leading to your reporting up-and-down peaks that are exaggerated.

Monitoring...  2. This mood monitoring reduces your very complex, continually changing reality to one general, oversimplified score point.
    Like, you can be very active but feel suicidal at the same time, or very lethargic while not suicidal. How do you weigh such nuances in one average score? You can’t.
    Nor does the score register important mood swings within a day, like being very depressed in the morning but not in the evening.
    Nor does it correct for the fact that you may label the same mood you scaled as “bad” today, as “not too bad” ten days later (when it follows after a much worse bout of depression).

  3. So it does not measure your actual mood by any fixed, well-defined, constant, objective criteria.
    Example? To really measure your depression, you would need to answer not one single dumb scaling question but a whole slew of very specific questions, such as “Did I sleep more than six hours last night?” “Did I eat a full breakfast this morning?” “Did I think about specific suicide methods today?” and so on.

Monitoring...  4. As one of the results of this extreme simplicity, a few haphazard data will pose as a pseudo-exact representation of your actual mood.
    Like, when you look back at your scores chart over a longer period, the graph format by itself will already suggest this is a complete overview of the hard facts. It’s not: it’s just an incomplete registration of your emotional judgments at some points in time.

  5. This will give you the idea you have done something about your depression while in fact you’ve done nothing.
    You’re a bit like the fireman who, when asked why he doesn’t climb the ladder to put out the fire, replies that right now he wants to take care of the paperwork and register a heat score for the department’s statistics.

  6. In this way, mood monitoring can give you an unfounded and possibly false sense of insight, security and control.
    To name just one example, viewing your mood graph can easily lead to the notorious Post Hoc Propter Hoc fallacy. This refers to the wrong idea that when two events are connected in time, this necessarily means a causal relation.
    Does your chart show a bad depression dip right after your birthday? Then it is Post Hoc Propter Hoc to jump to the conclusion that this depression was caused by your birthday, and to forget the possibility that there might have been a totally different cause that just happened to coincide with your birthday.

Monitoring...  7. At the same time, mood monitoring will in fact tell you nothing new: nothing that you didn’t already know.
    Did you see the sample graph in the above screenshot from the Mood 24/7 website? Right: in their example, they show a depression dip during the Christmas days. But if this was your graph, then you registered that low score yourself, so you were already aware of your depression dip at that time, weren’t you? So does it tell you anything new? No.

  8. This kind of monitoring requires you to daily focus on your mood while in a depression it’s much better to not focus on your mood, but on the world around you.
    I’m sure you know this already. Any focusing on how bad you feel will often make you feel even worse, get you brooding even more. If you are very depressed this can be dangerous, sending you into a downward spiral. Pondering about what might be your correct depression score for today is exactly what will set you on this wrong track.
    It’s much better to try focusing fully for a moment on the lawn and the garden flowers outside your window, to count the leaves, so to speak. And unless you’re so depressed you haven’t any energy left, trying to actually mow the lawn will help even more

  9. In a therapy setting, a mood monitoring graph will tempt you to analyze your daily mood swings instead of your structural, long-term core problems.
    This is obvious. You’ll be trying to explain the peaks and the lows in your graph, because those fluctuations are all it shows. You’ll easily forget to look at the more constant, underlying factors that are not shown in the graph: such as problems that already existed for years, long before you even started monitoring your mood.

Monitoring...10. In daily life, this kind of monitoring will tempt you to view a given mood score as that day’s reality, easily making a low score into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
    Example: if (as suggested in the screenshot) at 8 PM you registered your day score, let’s say “Mood Level 3”, then for the rest of the evening you may already subconsciously have labeled this in your mind as “A Typical Mood 3 Day”.
    As a result in the next hours you may keep behaving accordingly, even when you might have done better.

  •  Summary: over all, this kind of mood monitoring will not help you in any way to find an active, goal-oriented personal strategy to cope with your depressions.
    By consolidating the narcissistic focus that is already inherent in depression, in some cases it can make a depression even worse.

 

Needless to say, the Mood 24/7 website does not go into any of these shortcomings, problems and dangers.

    They’ve simply established that there is demand for something like this – a kind of primitive mood mirror tool for people who want to keep focusing on their own depressed mood. And so, they provide this narcissistic consumer with what she appears to ask for. They just want to make money, and of course we cannot blame them for that.

Big Money Background

The Commercial Health Websites Business ModelActually this is a matter of big business. Really big. The Mood 24/7 site is just one of over 30 health websites run by a company in Arlington, Virginia: HealthCentral. Health websites like theirs do require little investment and generate great profits: they are money trees. With only 82 employees, HealthCentral made a revenue of $19.3 million from its websites in 2010.

    So last year, they and all their money tree websites were bought by Remedy Health Media, a privately owned company in New York that claims to be “America’s fastest growing health information and technology company”. One of the owning partners in the background is Veronis Suhler Stevenson, a large private equity investor firm.

    Again: we cannot blame them for running a profitable business. But one thing that surprised me at the Mood 24/7 site (and the related HealthCentral and Remedy Health Media websites) is that they all appear to be affiliated in various ways with Johns Hopkins University.

    So even though Mood 24/7 is just a dead simple SMS service with a backing website, this mood monitor thing is promoted as “developed by HealthCentral based on technology licensed exclusively from Johns Hopkins University”. True, in the small print, this university “expressly disclaims any responsibility for the use of this tool” – but still, what makes them willing to be associated with something like this? One can only guess.

    To be honest, it left me wondering about the ties between Johns Hopkins University and those big-money health website companies. Can we be sure that the Baltimore university has taken all the necessary steps to prevent commercial funding from interfering with their academic integrity? Can we still trust them? I just don’t know.

    What I do know, is that I myself will never need to make a cent with this blog here. Along with things such as my long-time personal experience with serious depression, this lack of any financial interest helps to guarantee you my complete independence, integrity and objectivity.

    And I promise you, if one of those big money makers ever decides to buy me off with a few millions, I’ll warn you   ;-) 


 tip: My advice will be clear. Give this kind of vapid, narcissistic mood-monitoring nonsense a wide berth. When you are very depressed, it can even be outright dangerous to keep evaluating your own mood. You should concentrate on something else than the supposed severity scale of what’s inside your tormented head.
    Instead of focusing on your mood, it’s more positive and productive to focus on your surroundings and on a feasible program of activities. Just a brief daily walk in the park will do you far more good than contemplating and registering your “mood score” day after day!

• footnote: The 1599 painting Narcissus by Michelangelo da Caravaggio is in the Galleria Nazionale d’Arte Antica in Rome.
    The anonymous ca. 1500 painting in the style of Leonardo da Vinci is probably by a pupil of Giovanni Antonio Boltraffio, who himself had been a pupil of Leonardo. It is in The National Gallery in London.
    The surrealistically petrified one from 1937, Metamorphosis of Narcissus by Salvador Dali, is in the Tate Modern gallery in London.



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Today In History:

Arthur Conan DoyleMay 22, 1859 –
Birth date of Arthur Conan Doyle, the Scottish physician and writer who in his popular stories (from 1887 to 1927) created the best known detective ever: the sharply observing and deducing Sherlock Holmes.
   Doyle profiled Sherlock Holmes as an obvious bipolar character, with both manic-active and depressed-lethargic episodes. In the stories, Holmes keeps trying to overcome his periodic depressions by playing the violin (sometimes), smoking (frequently) and using cocaine (as a real addict).
   Portrayed in this way, Doyle's Sherlock Holmes probably was the first popular fiction character suffering from frequent depressions.

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